Parenthood for Male Same-Sex Couples

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Becoming a dad for the first time is many things. Exciting. Moving. Nerve-wracking! And one thing it shouldn’t be is complicated.

At BTO we can guide you on your journey to legal parenthood of your new child, and talk to you about all of your options based on your specific circumstances.

There are a number of ways to become a dad in Scotland, and which option is best for you will depend entirely on what you believe is best for your new family.

Surrogacy

Surrogacy is the most common choice of assisted conception for same-sex male couples.

Surrogacy law in the UK is very strict. Find out more about surrogacy law here.

If you are a same-sex male couple and need to find an egg donor, you can do so by seeking either a known or unknown donor. Find out more about donor conception here.

Once you have your surrogate and your egg donor (who may also be the surrogate), we would always recommend using a fertility clinic to perform the insemination or IVF required. If you do not use a clinic to conceive, particularly where intercourse is utilised, the law becomes significantly more complicated as the law will no longer consider that to be a surrogacy situation.

Adoption

On average there are around 4,000 children in the UK waiting at any one time to be adopted. It is a common way for gay couples and single parents to add to their family.

For full details about the adoption process, please click here.

Co-Parenting

Co-parenting is where two people agree to conceive a child and raise them together even though they are not in a relationship. It is quite common for gay men, either as individuals or in a couple, to choose to enter into co-parenting agreements with single female friends or lesbian couples.

Entering into co-parenting agreements is entirely lawful, although comes at a high legal risk as there can only be two legal parents of the child and it all depends on the relationship status of the woman who you choose to conceive with.

If this option is the right choice for your family, it is important that you think carefully about the intentions post-conception and to make sure that everyone involved is on the same page. You should only ever enter into a co-parenting arrangement with someone you know and trust, and only once you are clear about the legal implications of doing so.

We can assist with preparing co-parenting agreements which set out how a child will be raised and each co-parent’s roles and responsibilities in relation to that child. They are not legally binding but are still valuable in helping you and your fellow co-parents to establish each other’s expectations from the arrangements. We offer this on a fixed-fee package.

If you would like to speak to one of our specialist family lawyers about your specific situation, please contact us.

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